Phew! been quite a while since i came back here. =) yupz...lotsa stuff has happened lately...i try to recall them slowly k...and put them down the best i can. hee..

ok, maybe tok abit abt the not so happy stuff first...well, this month itself...jan i mean, i been seeing so many accidents...hearing some many more...haiz...like quite sad lor...almost everyday keep having. i remember i saw like 3 accidents in 3 days!! yesh!! its that bad!! even more i read from the newspaper!! one true life incident was that my friend's mom...was called in a accident a week back.. =( so sad know...really. losing someone dear to u is painful enough...and to lose them that way is even worst...haiz. i hope my friend is coping well...at the funeral...he looked so tired....but yet he couldnt rest....and there is going to be more burden for him to bear now. i hope he will find his way......god bless him.

hmm, another thing that is bothering me...is the fast that i somehow find ppl around me having stuff that i always wanted!! and they seem to come so easy to them!! well, i always wanted to have my own car...sounded my parents abt it a few days back..and got scolded again..as usual. =( then been seeing my friends all buying cars...and those who had...changing new cars!! and some are juz students like me!! darn!! i already have two friends telling me they buying new car lor!! haiz...why i so poor!! =( well, i told my mom...that i go do part time, then i wanna buy car..she also say cannot...argh!! dunno when then can buy. seeing my friends so happy with their cars...give me a very sour feel.....i am not saying that wat wat i feel or think is rite...but i juz feel that way!! maybe i juz like to have wat ppl have lah....haiz...

nevermind...juz study harder..and hope to earn more money...then can buy my own car. dunno y, dun like to depend on my parents these days...dun wanna take their money...but sometimes really cannot help it...money reserves running real low!! darn!! need to get a job liao man! haiz...also dunno wat i can do...or where to start lookin...argh. then i still got my own sch work to balance!! i need to do better this sem!! muz study harder!!!

okok, that abt the not so happy stuff. haha. recently, i been reading every nite! like a habit liao..haha. feel funny if i dun do that...but i read story books...not my lect notes!! haha...gonna start revising real soon...maybe once this CNY is over...then will start to put in more effort and read up the lects...haha. tryin to be hard working mah..hehe. hope i can improve my grades this sem!! hehe..

heres the interesting part...as u all know...i am reading books again...haha. and i happen to know this girl who reads the same books i do!! haha. love talking to her...she is so funny. haha...and guess wat, i asked her out...and our first outing...was a BOOK FAIR!! haha...cos the library was selling 2nd hand lib books!! haha...funny rite!! i think the books kinda brought us closer...hehe. =P yesterday juz watched movie with her too!! hee...happy. haha. thats all i will say abt her now....haha. dun wanna say to much. well, i am still trying to know here better....hehe.

hmm, suppose to go buy phone with dad today...but family too lazy to go out!! darn! i was so prepared know!! argh...haha. still thinkin if i wanna change phone not...i can pass my current fone to my dad..since he like it so much...but then i will have to pay for the new phone on my own..but i got no money!! haha...so i think let him buy lah...hope he dun buy another of my phone!! cos i see no point in having same phones...haha.

well, actaully more has happened in the last couple of weeks...but these are all i can remember so far..haha. the rest didnt feel adding them today. hehe...i will be back i guess...maybe after CNY? haha...unless some special things happen...haha.   ¶ 12:17 AM

  harlow...me using the blog again! haha..dunno whether this site will hang like the other one not....haiz. anyway, juz try and see how first lor.. hmm, since i change add, i think i shd expecting lesser ppl to read! haha...so can complain here!! hehe..

well, sch starts only on wed for me...and its all that sch stuff again....hmm, dunno to be happy or to hate it...cos i also got nothing to do. but at the same time also dun feel like studying! haha..err, hope i go to sch can meet more ppl lor..haha. so far, since sch started...met a few ppl, but no potentials...hmm,dunno wats wrong with me these days...dun seem to find any. i hope my luck changes!! hehe..

anyway, abt my new yr resolutions..haha. last yr, i think i can use 3 words to discribe myself...SDU. =) dunno y, like to use these 3 letters..haha. well, its suppose to be Slack, Dumb looking, Unfit...haha. hope to change all these in 2004!! hehe...made a few progress i shd say. been reading books..., dyed my hair, wore contacts....and been working out..at least my biceps...haha. =) been doing them everyday...and now seems like i need ore weight before my arms can feel anything! haha...hmm, will work on that belly of mine too! haha. oh yah, was hoping to get abit tan also...so can match my hair colour! haha...dun really bother wat ppl say...i juz feel like doing it! hee...and theres one more resolution, which is not to keep swearing...hahahaha. and of course the resolution which seems to appear every yr...to find a gf! hehe...and one that will last!! hee...that will be the best thing... =)

finished reading a bk today...and was talking abt 'losers'! haha..its quite a nice book...and theres this part where the guy find the girl...it talked abt the warmth feleing, and also how gd the guy feel in front of her...i think thats wat i am lookin for lor...the comfortable feeling when together, and the warmth feeling when we do not have to speak out...not juz any girl i guess. =) i think i can find cos i dun see any girl who gives me that kind of feeling...ok, maybe there was. i did tell myself and the guys, that i shall forget that someone...and move on. and not to dwell any longer. the guys were kinda surprised that i hang on for so long...haha. well, its juz a few yrs... =) i will move on...i hope the guys will be there when i need them...cos i dun think i can do this alone.......

so its a new yr...with so much to do, and to accomplish. one other resolutions i got was to do better..to get better results. my first sem was quite bad...and i want to do better...cos i know i can. there was a thing i told myself...that i will not let anyone look down on me...and i shd not look down on myself! i hope i can keep up with that...haha.

now as the yrs goes by, i think i am becoming poorer and poorer, which many friends choose not to believe...haha. parents are not earning as much as before due to the economy..and so many plans had to be out aside...been getting less pocket money...but my expenditure still alot..haha. didnt tell my parents lah...hopefully i can get some job or something in due time...u know, i think i really hate being poor...haha. cos there is so many things u cannot do...and have to look at ppl's faces. and i dun like doing it...someday, i will be my own boss. =) someday......

oh yah, theres one more thing i want to do! haha...is get the sleeping habit in order!! haha...i am always awake at nite and normaly wake up onli at noon time! haha...this cannot go on...i muz do something. =) hopefully lah...hee.

was telling my friend juz now...on how i miss talking to someone on the fone...i mean someone special...like gf? or good friend or even buddies? haha..not one seems to be free to do such stuff these days..wat a pity. sometimes i wished i juz had someone whom i can talk to...but being the person i am....i dun think i can share the prbs i have with others very well. the best i can so far, maybe is juz crapping here. =)

i juz hope my prayers will be answered one day...and that i can be a better man than i am today....and i mean man...no longer a boy. hee...  ¶ 10:31 AM

  harlow...i am using this new blog! darn! the old dun seem to update!!   ¶ 6:58 AM